*My Mum Accused Me Of Having Affair With Her Boyfriend’
PROFESSIONAL dancer, Kafayat Oluwatoyin Shafau, also known as Kaffy, has lamented that men do not want to marry her simply because she is a single mother.
Sharing her challenges in dating as a single mother, the mother of two, while speaking in a recent episode of The Honest Bunch podcast, lamented the stereotype against single mothers and fathers, saying there are no guarantees that single people without children would make better marriages.
The 45-year-old said there is a possibility that a single mother or father may have worked on herself or himself and shouldn’t be ruled out because of negative stereotype.
She stated: “I have had somebody tell me because I’m a single mother, he can’t even think of dating me because I have two children…
“What makes you think that a woman that has been divorced is not even the better candidate if she had worked on herself? What’s the guarantee that two single people today are not going to be divorced people tomorrow?
“Why are people insisting on marrying someone fresh? But both of you are going into the same data that the world has computed for you that over 70 per cent of marriages crash. You are part of the 70 per cent.”
Recall that Kaffy got married to Joseph Ameh, a music director and drummer for P-Square, in July 2015 and the union produced two children.
They, however, divorced in January 2022, citing their quest for individual growth and a lack of destiny alignment.
Kaffy also shared a shocking story about her childhood, revealling that when she was 13 years old, her mother accused her of having an affair with one of her boyfriends.
She recalled that after her parents’ divorce, her mother dated several men and she and her siblings were close to these men, even calling them “daddies,” as they missed a father figure in their lives.
The dancer said her mother was insecure about how close the children were to her boyfriends and suspected them of having secret affairs.
She recounted a particularly incident when one day, as she was trying to help one of her mother’s boyfriends clean a cut on his face while shaving, her mother walked into the room and misinterpreted the situation and in a fit of anger, stripped Kaffy naked and flogged her in front of everyone in their living room.
She stated: “I was 13 when my mother started suspecting me with her own men. That had its own traumatising effect on the mind on its own.
“But then you are thinking, ‘But that’s my mother, would I do that to my mother? Why would my mother even think of that of me, the daughter?”
That incident, childhood trauma and “emotional abuse” motivated her to break free and become the successful woman she is today.
